Rakurai Stryker's Struggle
by A wee Moose
Summary: A quick look into the agony that Stryker has to live with every single day.


**9 years ago.**

The door chimed. "Come in." Williams said. He entered the Ready Room.

The crew referred to the Captain's Ready Room as the arboretum. Plants was her passion. The ready room contained her favorites; Venus flytraps, Betazoid bellsprouts, the beautiful but very poisonous Romulan Starlight Sweetness, and an African Protea.

Lt. Cmdr. Stryker entered, coming to rest in front of the table. "You wanted to see me, Jessica ?"

Captain Williams was concerned, "When we were on Dimstar yesterday. We found a crashed Jem'Hadar warship." she said. "There was this look in your eyes ...."

"Hatred. And a lifetime of pain." Stryker said in an icy tone.

There was a long silence then. She took a deep breath, then switched on the computer again, swiveling the screen around so Stryker could see it. "This photograph had been taken in haste before we shipped out, the entire crew gathered in the shuttle bay."

Stryker looked at the photo. Jessica was sitting on top of a Class Two shuttle with her sister, Rain and a Bolian. The Bolian was holding two fingers up behind her head, like a pair of blue rabbit ears. Williams was getting emotional, "This was taken when I was a lieutenant. The Federation had just come into conflict with the Cardassians. In less than a year, one third of the people shown here were dead. The rest of us were captured, held in brutal conditions. Many of those also died - from disease, torture, summary execution, suicide."

Stryker felt the captain withdrew herself. Very unusual, everyone felt Jessica Roberta Williams somehow imprints life into everything she touches...she is so vibrantly alive herself. Captain-Mom always capable of being cheer to a gloomy day or a rotten situation or a crappy day.

She continued, "We'd all been imbued with Starfleet principles: the inalienable rights of species, the basic respect for life that can be found in all sentient beings. I suppose, subconsciously, we believed everyone thought that way. We discovered otherwise."

Stryker looked the image. How could it not have any resonance to him, Williams thought, when it seemed so choked full of bitter memories to me?

"After the war I had to sit down with Cardassian diplomats and traders and starship captains, as if nothing had happened. And I did. There were members of this crew who refused to - I won't bother you with the politics involved. There were times I envied them . . . " Williams's voice trailed off for a moment, then she straightened her shoulders. "The point was I accepted that the war was over. I wasn't. I am not ..." Jessica started speaking slowly, with great difficulty, "going ... to spend the rest of ... my life fighting it."

Silence. The tough woman, a most capable diplomat now stood before Stryker, close to tears.

"I will never forgive the ones who killed my friends, and my family." Stryker said in a dangerous tone. "I had their blood splattered on me in the middle of combat. I cannot live that down."

A long pause. Then Stryker said, "I learned about the two Cardassian wars. Atrocities against non combatants and prisoners of war, the use of torture in interrogation. Systematic rape of female Starfleet officers and Federation civilians. Cardassian Central Command ordered to inflict maximum psychological injury on Federation civilians living in the disputed regions. The occuption of Eea Iko, Itros Alpha, Laaste, Vere, Bajor and Junaar. Massacre of civilians on Setlick 3. Orbitial fire Bombing and starvation blockade at the Kono colony. Using terraforming as a tool of war."

"I was there. There are times when I feel I'll never leave the war behind. I went though all the counseling, the programs, the holotherapy. But even now, years later, all it takes is a sound, a gesture, a raised voice at a certain pitch and I'm back in that Cardassian prison camp, in a little cage." Jessica said in a whisper. "Our innocence drowned forever in the blood-dimmed tide of hate."

An awkward feeling in the air. Emotions were running high. Tempers would have flared. Instead no one said a word for nearly ten minutes.

"I am no longer surprised at what people are capable of." she finally said.

"I do not need help with my emotions." Stryker said.

"Sweety, It can not rain all the time." Jessica told her XO. "You will never be alive with all that hatred gathered up in you. You can never fully love Alice with this hatred simmering in you."

Stryker very nearly left the room right there, he turned around, heading for the door. He stopped, then he surprised her. "Will you help me ?"

******

**One Month Later.**

**Moon of Adurni, orbiting Gyndurien 1 (Cardassian Union Space)**

Lt. Rakurai Stryker and Lt. Alice Brangwin was standing next to Captain Williams and the two Andorian Chief Engineers.

This area was lush with grass and trees, much like the African Savanna. The air was filled with the smell of fruit. But the two nearby rivers had body parts, mostly Human and Bajoran.

Alice was a little bloodied as was Stryker and the Captain. They captured Gul Tealojes when he tried to get away. An hour ago, the Pretoria and Voyager took a closer look at the mystery energy readings that was so cleverly hidden. Security teams from the two ships captured the Cardassians who put up a fight.

Pretoria and Voyager was two ships out of eleven ships searching Cardassian space after one secret camp was revealed by the very last Marquis ship, the Columbia, a stolen Miranda class vessel with a cloaking device recovered from a destroyed Klingon ship no less.

Chakotay's face was calm, but is was clear he was disgusted and angry.

Alice was in turmoil as well, she wanted the Gul dead for his crimes. Captain Williams kept an eye on Alice, knowing how she felt.

Captain 'Mom' herself was shaking inside.

The next night, Captain Williams, Alice and Chakotay got drunk, in an attempt to cope with their horrible memories. To forget maybe. Forgive? Not likely.

********

**Six months later**

Luitenant-Commander Stryker was in Sickbay, Captain Jessica Williams was shot in the back twice as they were fleeing the Redeemers' Jail Cell.

The CMO, Commander Veronica Matrix was crying, at her best friend was dying. The Chief Secuity Officer were killed a few minutes earlier.

First Officer Rakurai Stryker felt like bombing the entire planet, right now. 210 photon torpedoes should be enough ....

He approached her, unsure of himself, felt like he was physically going to fall apart any second now.

She spoke to Stryker in her clipped Australian accent, "I will watch over you, Everything you see, into the water, into the truth, in your reflection. I will live in you, honourable Guardian Rakurai. Take care of my crew, I know they are difficult, but their unique backgrounds will always provide you with an answer when you .... dilemma"

"Do not die. Please. I need you" Stryker said, his voice uneven.

Captain Jessica Roberta Williams died a few seconds later, surrounded by her friends.


End file.
